I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Randomize
