so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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