she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
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