The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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