I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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