you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
