There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
