Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
