Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
