Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I will pee on everything he values.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
