just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
