never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
