ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Dear god my vagina.
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