My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
