Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
