He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
