i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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