READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize