So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
