i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
