he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize