You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
