is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
