Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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