We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
he fucked my hip out of place.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
