Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
