You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You are a genius and a whore.
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