It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
