we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize