OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
