i permit you to call me
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
