Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
