She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
