And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
