the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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