you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
