I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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