playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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