After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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