I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
