i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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