ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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