she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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