she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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