were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
