I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
