Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
