i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Randomize
