my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Someone came in the potted fern
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
