i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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