too bad you live with your parents still
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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