i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
