If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
