Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
