if only i could text you this smell
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
