I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
