if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize