Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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